I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize
