btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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