Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize
