woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
