i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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