Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
