Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
