i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Randomize
