So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
