he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize
