if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
