My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
