I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
