went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
So. Much. Porn.
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