Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Randomize
