ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize