Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Michael Bay diarrhea
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
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