im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
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