Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
