I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
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