She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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