she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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