Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
wat bout pragnant strippers??
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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