Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
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