found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize