I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
