dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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