I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
