I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Randomize
