Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
