then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I want to fling myself into the sun
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Randomize
