He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
