STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Randomize
