dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
