Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
