This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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