You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
