And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
