Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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