broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Randomize
