p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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