Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
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