nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
