I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
