Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
My brain says no but my pants say off.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
