I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
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