I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize