im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
