biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
