I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Randomize