i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
