think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Too much gin, very little bucket
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
