My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
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