I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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