i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
