that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
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