There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
