Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
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