Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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