well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
