I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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