ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
